Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Reality Check

On Thursday of that next week, I was scheduled to take Justin to Magna for a visit with his birth mother. That morning I packed up Justin and his diaper bag and headed out. When we arrived at the DCFS office, I gave them instructions on how Justin liked to be held, and the best way to feed him. And then I had to leave.

It was one thing to learn in a class about the emotional aspect of being a foster parent, but it does not even come close to the actual thing. I wondered just what exactly we had gotten ourselves into. What sort of crazy people volunteer their hearts and time to care for and become attached to an infant that isn't their's and most likely never will be? Oh, us.

I left the DCFS office with a sense of extreme anxiety. Suddenly the magazines I had brought to leisurely read had simply become words on a page that I really didn't care about. I sat in a McDonald's parking lot drinking a coke and ticking by the minutes.

I was finally able to go back to DCFS office and pick up Justin. I was able to meet with the caseworker and with Justin's birthmother for about an hour. His birthmother expressed her fear that we would try and "take away her baby, and adopt him." I assured her that this was not our purpose. Our purpose was to take good care of him, and provide him with the love of a family while she made the changes that she needed to. I told her we were not here to take away the baby, but to give him a good life until she was able to provide it for him. I meant every word, but I did still wish he was ours forever, and not just a little while. Justin's birthmother expressed her gratitude, and then left.

I left the office and took Justin back to our house with a somewhat heavier heart than I had arrived with.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Hospital Visit 1



We enjoyed every day and night for the next week of caring for Justin. 7 days after bringing Justin home, we noticed that he was not eating well. I randomly decided to take his temperature, even though he didn't feel the slightest bit warm. I got a reading of 94.7, and thought there was no way that was right. I took it several more times and got the same result. I decided to call the pediatrician to see what they suggested. I was told to immediately get in the car and go the ER at Primary Children's. I did this, thinking the whole way that I probably just didn't have him in enough layers, and the poor kid was probably just cold. He was wrapped in blankets in his carseat and I had the heater up to 85. I was sure that when we got to the hospital that they would say "silly girl, he's just fine." Ha! I wish! We got into the ER and they took his temperature--it had dropped to 94.1 He was immediately taken to a room with warming lights and had a swarm of doctor's, nurses, respiratory therapists, and other professionals in the room. A full workup was ordered--urine analysis, fecal analysis, blood work, and lumbar puncture. I think I was in shock. I knew how sick our little guy was, because the only time he cried, or really even moved was when they did the lumbar puncture (spinal tap). He barely even moved when they put an IV in his tiny head, and another one in his foot. I quickly called the caseworker to let her know where we were, and see if we needed to have permission for anything. As foster parents, we cannot sign for any medical procedures. This is a huge pain when you have a sick kiddo! Then I called Chad and he was able to come up. The results of the lumbar puncture indicated that Justin had Meningitis--though we weren't sure at this point if it was viral or bacterial. He was put on large doses of several broad coverage antibiotics to start treating any possible bacterial infection.

After what felt like days in the ER, we were transferred to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU). They monitored Justin until the next morning, and decided that he was doing well enough to be transferred to the Infant Med/Surg Unit. Throughout this entire stay, Justin had what is a called "apneic events." This means he would completely stop breathing for significant periods of time. We spent the next 8 days enduring test after test as they tried to figure out the cause of the apnea. It was eventually determined that Justin had mild reflux, and that when the contents of his tummy would back up into the esophogus, he would stop breathing to protect his airway. He was put on Zantac, and the problem went away. We were so thrilled to go home after 9 days!

During Justin's time in the hospital, I also went to the first court date that was set to discuss his case. I had no idea what to expect from this. All that happened at this first court appearance was that the judge determined that Justin's placement with DCFS, and consequentially with us, was justified and necessary for the time being. The whole experience shook me. I was torn. We loved this sweet little baby in our care, and wished with all our hearts that he could be ours. At the same time, we knew that by wishing that he was ours, we were also wishing for his birth mother to fail. This is absolutely not what we wanted! We were concerned for her, and wanted her to be able to turn her life around. We finally decided on what we called "option 3." We prayed that if it was Heavenly Father's will, and would be best for Justin, that his birth mother would choose to place him with us through adoption, rather than having to have her rights "terminated."

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Halloween










While Justin was in the hospital, we were also trying to keep things fun and exciting for the big boys at home. It was halloween time, so we had lots of fun halloween parties and Tate's first halloween parade.

It was hard for the boys to have us be gone so much, so we tried to be involved as much as possible with them when we were at home.


Friday, April 1, 2011

Justin Chad Goeckeritz!

It is official! On Monday, March 21st we went as a family to the Matheson Courthouse downtown and were able to officially adopt our sweet baby Justin. He is now Justin Chad Goeckeritz, and we are thrilled!!

I am still working on his full story...it is long, but I promise to hurry!

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Happy Birthday Tate!

Happy Birthday to our Tate O Bug!! 6 Years Old! Tate had a great birthday! We had our family birthday party on Sunday, and then he got to have a friends party at the Living Planet Aquarium on Tuesday.



Tate's Birthday Party Friends!
Petting the stingrays
Tate handing out candies
Ugh! Tarantula! (The kids thought it was really cool though!)

Sterling and Tate driving the boat



Our host, Devonte, took the kids on a treasure hunt throughout the aquarium.






It snowed on Tate's birthday, which he thought was awesome! (I liked that it melted 2 days later :) He and Max had fun playing in the snow with Chad and building a fort. Justin and I stayed inside and watched from the front window.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Baby Justin!

Here (finally!!) are some pictures of our baby bug. The whole story and lots of pictures are on their way...I will probably wait until after the adoption is final in a month or so. I thought everyone might want to see this cute little guy who has wrapped us around his finger!



Monday, December 13, 2010

Our Little Christmas Miracle


We have wonderful news! In an amazing twist of events, baby J's sweet birth mother has asked us to be his permanent family, and unexpectedly relinquished all of her rights last week in court. We are thrilled beyond measure to be able to have this little Christmas blessing in our forever family! Our adoption date is set for March, and I promise to post a slew of pictures (and give the whole wonderful story!)